EPIC findings!

In the flat world Siss-ka-toon there was a girl named B.

She started off with a few friends and lots of time to do homework.

Then one day signs proclaimed of a wondrous game called the "HUSKIES HOMECOMING". Now young B was not aware that at such a game it was customary for all the Rezzies to don togas. As a newbie to the Rezzie population she donned her toga with the eager naive hope that the rains would stop falling and the Huskies would win. She followed her fellow drunk Rezzies to the game and sat with them and chanted the sacred chants of "TOGA, TOGA TOGA TOGA" and "UBC SUCK MY DICK (which soon became "UBC S MY D" when the Rezzies were informed of Stadium rules).

Soon after she arrived she learn she was actually part of another sacred tradition. The people of Rez who donned their Togas with pride would at half time proclaim their existence by running around the entire field of football with there togas in check as they were cheered on by fellow alumni and classmates for the "Annual Homecoming Halftime Running of the Togas". B proceeded to complete this and did not fall.

What followed could only be explained as a series of ridiculousness that resulted in some new friends and some very delicious Malibu.

After the toga run her little group of girls was accompanied home to Rez by some boys whom came to be known as "Sober" Dan and Jordon. "Sober" Dan was in possession of an amazing cellphone that would ring every time there was a party within a twenty mile radius of the Uni. Shortly the girls became a part of "Sober" Dan's crew. Said crew partied together and stuck together. The crew was above all other commitments (at least if there was a party). That is when B experienced her first Rez Party. Rez parties are a phenomenon that starts at about 7 and ends at midnight when the RAs and Campus Security come shut it down. It consists of about a 3 to 1 guy to girl ratio where everyone drinks beer and somehow 60 rezzies fit themselves in a 20 by 20 ft room with the music blasting "Like a G6". This continued for a few hours. Then B found herself being rushed away when the announcement came "If you aren't 19 get out! Campus Security is in the building!". B then ran and ended up in the room of Jordon with the rest of the crew and a no longer sober "Sober" Dan. They ordered some 2:00 am pizza and recapped the night. B felt her college life had finally started.

The next morning B awoke and joined her lovely roommate L for some much needed brunch. There she once again ran into "Sober" Dan and his cellphone. By the time she left brunch she had plans with the crew for two parties and 2:00 am pizza. The night began at the liquor store where "Sober" Dan bought white rum instead of Raspberry Zinfandel. They then proceeded in the golden chariot to the 7/11 for orange juice and Coke. The first party ended up being a bust and the crew headed back to "Sober" Dan and Kale's room for a regrouping. Then Dan's cellphone rang. "Sober" Dan became "Party" Dan once again as a House party emerged as their destination. This lasted until neighbours complained of the noise and the police shut it down. Back to Rez went the crew crammed into three cars one with Alan in the trunk. They again ended up in Jordon's room for 2:00 am pizza.

Now B and L thought this is where their night would end but no. They went on a crazy chase around Rez on a quest to find "The King of LAV" and the Legendary LAV cube. They ended waiting for hours for the chance of an audience. Where L met her second half a man with muscles, ego and vast knowledge of her favorite kind of music. They quickly got so in depth into a conversation that the only way to pull her away was with fascination of the thought of the LAV cube. Soon they witnessed a LAV cube in real life. It was orange and uglier than their Ath cube. They finally made it to their room at 4:00 and discussed their night with their RA the famous Jenna- Lee.

Needless to say they were very tired in the morning and drank a lot of coffee the next day.